00:00 

Hey there. Welcome to Intentional Living with Tanya Hale. This is episode number 331, "Sense of Self." Welcome to your place for finding greater happiness through intentional growth, because we don't just fall into the life of our dreams...we choose to create it. This is Tanya Hale and I'm your host for Intentional Living. 

00:21 

Alright. Hello there, my friends. Welcome to the podcast. As always, so glad to have you here and so glad to be here. Love this content. Love what we are working through together and figuring out, and the progress that we're making and the relationships that we're creating. Because this really is about the relationships. The research that I have read, they have found that the quality of our lives really depends upon the quality of our relationships. And if we want to be happier, we have to have better, healthier relationships. And that's what we're doing here. So this is a happiness podcast for sure. And glad that you're here joining me. 

01:01 

Really quick, if you are interested in a class for the holidays, and I have it on my website. It's just called "Holiday Group Coaching," but let's talk about it as being like a holiday survival guide, right? We're going to be working through and talking about "how do I be the person I want to be in the holidays." Sometimes we have people that we encounter in the holidays that we don't usually encounter on a regular basis. And for that mother or that sister-in-law or that whoever in your life that you're going to encounter that you're like, "this is just too much." We're going to talk about how do you show up? How do you make it so it's not a big deal? How do we learn to love and accept and move into this space? And "listen, I can handle this and it's great and I love them. And of course they're going to act that way." 

01:52 

We're going to talk about that. We're going to talk about all the overing that we tend to do in the holidays. We overwork, we overplan. We overcook, we overeat, we over...we're just gonna talk about why do we over and how do we get over being over all the overing. So it's gonna be a great great class. It's only gonna run for six weeks. We're gonna start before Thanksgiving and finish December 23rd right before Christmas, so it's just an hour and there are two times available on Mondays. It's gonna be Monday afternoon or Monday evening. So you'll get to choose which one of those works better for you. And I priced it pretty low, so it's not a huge holiday expense that you're gonna have to worry about. But it's something that is gonna make your holiday just so much better, I promise. These conversations that we have in these group coaching classes are so valuable in helping you to understand more specifically what's going on with you and what your struggles are and how to move forward in a way that just feels really genuine and in alignment to you. So check that out. 

03:01 

And let's jump into today's topic. The title of this one is called "Sense of Self." So this is a podcast that has been on my brain for several months. And it's kind of a biggie, big concept. And I really, really want you to understand it. The concepts are just so important. And I'll be honest, it's kind of intimidated me because I know that it's big. So I've been putting it off, to be honest with you, even though I've known that I've wanted to do it. But no longer. It is time to tackle this content. And it's going to take me several weeks to do it some justice, which I think is part of why I kept going, "oh, it's just so big." I mean, I'm looking at probably three to four weeks that we're going to be talking about Sense of Self, just to cover all the basics. But it is the glue that holds all the work we're doing together. It's what gives us the ability to do the work. So let's go ahead and get started. 

04:00 

So one reason that this feels so important to me is because everything we do here hinges on this concept. Our sense of self is the foundation for all the work that we do. And when we have a strong sense of self, we have the courage and the confidence to step into uncomfortable things, to do hard work, and to not be afraid to be vulnerable. When we struggle with our sense of self, we live in a lot of fear of failure, fear of other people's opinions. We have a lot of insecurity and we struggle  with our sense of worth. And we cannot have strong, healthy relationships with others that we can't have the relationships we crave unless we have a strong sense of self. 

04:45 

Implicit in the concept of a strong relationship is the fact that there are two healthy, strong individuals contributing without fear and insecurities running the show, for the most part, because we are are still humans after all, right? And we're all going to have some fears and insecurities. But we want to have less of them. Okay, so today we're going to dig into what a sense of self is and how it gets developed. And in the coming weeks we're going to discuss how to strengthen our sense of self and how it impacts our relationships, our sexuality, and our spirituality. So let's start with the definition healthline.com says: "your sense of self refers to your perception of the collection of characteristics that define you: personality traits, abilities, likes and dislikes, your belief system or moral code, and the things that motivate you. These all contribute to self-image or your unique identity as a person." 

05:46 

So each of us is so unique in who we are, what we believe, why we believe, how we see the world, and how we interact with it, what we know, what we don't know, our perspectives, our personalities, and our preferences all play into who we are. Also our past experiences, whether we see them as good or bad are all part of creating this unique person that we are. When we have a healthy sense of self, not only do we see and acknowledge and seek to understand all of this, but we also accept it as being who we are. And we see these things as good because we also understand that the sum of our parts creates our whole and that our whole is good and worthy. A healthy sense of self will know that there is good and bad in us, that we have strengths and weaknesses, helpful and not helpful thought and behavior patterns. And that in all of this combined, we are a whole person who is good, who has great value. 

06:55 

And a healthy sense of self will let go of the persistent call to perfectionism and instead ease into the growth and progression of our humanity. We will recognize our human tendencies and imperfections as part of our human experience and as part of our journey in becoming and not think that we are less than or less worthy because we display these human tendencies. When we have a strong, healthy sense of self, we have the capacity to show up in relationships in healthier ways because relationships require that we confront our darker sides, our weaknesses and our failings. Implicit in relationships is we're going to see our dark side, right? 

07:46 

And in order to confront these things without self-berating, we have to be able to be confident in who we are at our core and in the direction we know that we're heading even though we stray off course occasionally. We have to know that we're just going to come back on course and keep going and it's okay that we stray off. We're supposed to. We're humans. We have to know that underneath all of the dysfunction and sometimes bad decisions is a good person who is doing their best. We assume best intent of ourselves rather than worst intent. None of us will ever be the perfect specimen of human behavior. So we have to be in a place where we can be comfortable with our humanity and look at and acknowledge where we are not so stellar without thinking that we are horrible or less than, thinking that we are less worthy than other human beings who don't have our a shame spin cycle. 

08:51 

Much of the foundational work in having a solid sense of self is in the form of acknowledging our worth as a human. So it's always fascinating to me how many people I work with who wholeheartedly claim to believe that all people have worth and value, except for them. They are the exception, the lone unicorn in the world who does not have great worth. Now, why do so many of us live in this belief? I have no idea. But I do know that it's not a true thought. I also know that it is not a helpful thought. And yet we are using this false thought that "I don't have worth" to infiltrate every aspect and relationship of our lives. And we are leaving a trail of destruction behind us. 

09:46 

So let's first talk about the sense of not having worth. I think that because "worth" is the root word of "worthy" and "worthiness," we often think these words mean the same thing and they do not. So "worth" refers to the value of something. When talking about it in terms of humans, there is no scale to this worth. All people are on the same plane. OK, so no person is worth more or less than another. A three carat pink diamond is worth the same, whether it is in a ring, whether it's in a necklace, whether it's in a bag in your soft drawer or whether you lost it and it's buried two feet underground in the dirt and nobody knows it's there. It is still worth the same. 

10:41 

OK, "worthy" is a word that seems to put us on a scale of "better" or "less than." We might jokingly use the phrase "I'm not worthy," when we want to acknowledge that someone is really great at something that we're not great at. We use it as a joke, but the underlying message is that they are better than us and we pale in comparison and that that makes us less than. 

11:09 

Okay, and "worthiness" is a word that is often used with the idea that we are not good enough in some moral sense of the word, that we are not deserving of attention or respect. In LDS culture, it will often be used in the context of being worthy to go to the temple. Am I good enough righteous enough, obeying the commandments enough, to be deserving of the blessings I seek? So in that context of how we I just described worthiness, a better word we could use would be "qualified." Am I qualified to go into the temple? That would clear up the confusing concept of our worth and worthiness or being worthy, because our worth as a human and our worthiness to obtain certain blessings are not even close to the same thing. They don't really even belong in the same conversation. 

12:08 

So our worth as a human does not fluctuate. We were born with worth. We will die with the same worth regardless of what happens between that birth and that death. We are not better than nor worse than any other human being in the world. There is no way that we could take any baby born on any day and put it up next to any other baby born on the same day and decide which one is more valuable. Their parent might be a drug addict, a blue collar worker, a white collar worker, or an entrepreneur, or none of the above, right? They may be going home to a 200 square foot apartment or a 20,000 square foot estate. They may have two loving parents. They may have abusive parents, one or two. They may receive a religious upbringing or have no religious concepts taught to them at all. None of this matters with regards to our worth. 

13:08 

And as humans grow, guess what? It still doesn't matter. Do you work in the fast food industry your whole life? Do you own a successful business? Did you own and then not own a business that struggled to gain footing? Do you make millions of dollars a year or struggle every month to cover the bills? Do you shop at the discount stores or only in high-end shops? Do you have lots and lots and lots of formal education or did you barely graduate high school and maybe not even that, and you got your GED? Guess what? None of this matters in the context of our worth as a human. 

13:49 

Where we sometimes get confused is in comparing our contributions to the world with the contributions others make and think that that is our worth. It is not our worth. We each have different talents and abilities to share in the world and they are all important and they all create different life experiences. It is the contribution of all these pieces that create an amazing world for us to live in. We all contribute to the world in very different ways but that has nothing to do with our worth as a human. Learning to separate out all of these concepts in our minds can be a huge step, especially for someone who struggles with the concept of their own worth. And yet it is work that has to be addressed. We have to recognize and accept our own worth if we are going to have a strong, solid, healthy sense of self. When we have a strong sense of self, we will also have a clear understanding between ourselves and others, meaning we see ourselves as an individual and not as an undefinable part of the whole. 

15:06 

So it's like a cucumber in a salad rather than a substance that dissolves in water. Okay, a cucumber, we keep our individuality while also being part of the whole, but the whole does not define us. We choose to be part of the whole while also maintaining our individuality. We choose to be a cucumber in a salad rather than salt that dissolves and essentially disappears in a glass of water. 

15:36 

Many women in our generation and older struggle with this concept because they can see themselves as a wife or as a mother, but can be challenged by the thought of who they are outside of these types of roles. They have become, at their core, a wife or a mother, rather than having a strong sense of self at their core, and then being a wife or a mother as something that their self does. A well-developed sense of self allows us to take on these types of roles and still be an individual with our own wants and needs, and these wants and needs are often only attended to by us when we have a clear sense of self, including boundaries around what is okay and what is not okay. 

16:29 

Someone with healthy boundaries is someone who has the insight into themselves, the knowledge about themselves, to know when others are straying into their lane, and the ability to say "no" or "yes" as they desire rather than as the relationship the other person or the circumstance desires or demands. A person who has a strong sense of self will be confident because they are comfortable with all the aspects of who they are, the good, the bad, and everything in between. They will be courageous because they aren't dependent on other people's validation to tap into their worth and to define their worth. They recognize that failing at something or not being successful at something does not impact their worth. And being able to draw upon this confidence and courage is what allows us to step into growth. It's what opens the door to vulnerability and it's what strengthens us in standing our ground when necessary. All things that are vital to a happy, healthy relationship come from a strong sense of self. 

17:44 

And when we don't have a strong sense of self, it shows up in our feelings and in our actions. So an underdeveloped sense of self will have thoughts like," I'm not good enough. I'm not worth it. I'm not lovable. Of course he wouldn't want me. I'm such a wreck". Or we might even have self-demeaning thoughts about our capabilities. Like, "I can't figure that out. I don't know if I'm smart enough. I don't have what it takes." A struggling sense of self might also step into mean thoughts, where we beat ourselves down. Thoughts like, "I'm so stupid. How could I be so dumb? I'm so fat and ugly. I'm ridiculous. I look like a fool." 

18:27 

So if we put any of those thoughts in the thought model, the feelings that those thoughts will create will be feelings like insecurity, fear, hesitancy, depression, anxiety, unlovability, incapable, defeated, shut down, and so many more. You see the trend with those thoughts, right? These types of feelings then will spawn actions because our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings create our actions. So actions such as quitting, giving up, walking away, giving in, not trying, disengaging, seeking validation, fishing for compliments, overthinking, stressing, shutting down emotionally or physically or sexually. And that's just a start, right? It's just a scratch on the surface. 

19:17 

But when these types of behaviors become our common go-to behaviors, it can be easy to understand how our relationships struggle so much. We will have an unconscious tendency to shut others down, to shut them out, and to depend upon others to shore us up and make us feel good about ourselves. But validation from others, even if we do get it, which a lot of times we don't. But even if we do, it is never long-lasting. It never feels good long-lasting because it's coming from an outer source. Our strong sense of self has to be just that, a sense of ourselves. It has to come from within us. It will never come from without us. When we spend our lives dependent upon other people to make us feel as though we are of value and worth, we lose power over our lives and we will always be in pain. We will always feel as though something is missing even when everything seems to be okay. A strong sense of self creates within us a sense of empowerment and strength. A sense of contentment and peace, and even when people and things around us can be crashing in, we have this centered feeling that everything is okay, I can handle whatever comes my way. 

20:54 

A strong sense of self makes it easier for me to be centered on the things that are most important to me. I don't find myself figuratively running here and there trying to feel better to find someone or something that will build me up. To find a new item of clothing or a beauty regimen or plastic surgery or a new person or a new job, I don't have to run around to find these things to feel better. Not that there is anything wrong with any of those things. But when we are doing them to create a strong sense of self, they will never do that. They will never build up a weak sense of self into a strong one. That has to come from our thoughts. It has to come from inside of us. I feel that I can move my life in the direction that I choose rather than being at the mercy of other people to make things happen for me when I have a strong sense of self. 

22:00 

Here are some questions I want you to ask yourself to gauge where your sense of self may be. You may already have a good idea based on what we've talked about, but here are some intriguing questions. First, do you struggle to say "no" when you would really rather say "yes?" Or do you struggle to say "yes" when you would really rather say "no?" Feeling an intense internal pressure to people please, the need to need other people to love, accept, or appreciate you so you can feel good is an indication that you could strengthen your own sense of self. It's an indication that you have an underdeveloped sense of self. 

22:41 

Question number two, can you easily identify your strengths, your talents, and abilities? Can you also identify your weaknesses and things that you struggle with and not feel shame about them? When we are in touch with ourselves, when we know ourselves, and when we can truly accept ourselves for the person we are, that is an indication that we have a stronger, healthier sense of self. 

23:09 

Okay question number three, do you really know what brings you a solid sense of real happiness and fulfillment? And do you take the time to engage in these things when you start to feel out of alignment with yourself, when you get out of center? A strong sense of self will see you taking time to nourish yourself in the ways that you need to stay centered on who you are and the values that are important to you. We're talking about some self-care here, right? And when I talk about self-care, I am not talking about bubble baths and manis and pedis and a facial regime. I am talking about doing the things that are important to you. Are you getting up and exercising and eating the food that feels right to you? Are you being the kind of person you wanna be? Are you growing the way that you wanna grow? Okay, do you have this real solid sense of happiness and fulfillment? And do you take care of it when you start sliding out of that? Okay, that was question three. 

24:14 

Here's number four: are you consciously aware of what your core values are? And do you generally live your life in alignment with these values? Now, again, none of us are perfect. None of us are always going to do that. But do we know what our values are? Do we strive to live that way? Because when we are out of alignment with our values, our self-respect takes a hit. And that impacts our sense of self in a negative way. If I really value kindness, and yet I am horrible and mean and rude to every service provider out there, whether it be in the grocery store or a restaurant or wherever, then my self-respect will take a hit, okay? I have to be living in alignment. 

25:01 

And question number five: do you make decisions based on what you want and need and your values, or do you feel the need to adjust to what other people want and need? Okay, so do you find yourself pulling all the people before you feel comfortable making a decision because you want their approval and their acceptance? I have a really good friend. I've interviewed her just a couple of months ago, Wendy, and she calls it handing out survey cards, which I love. Right? Like when I find myself handing out survey cards to make a decision, I know that I am not in my strong sense of self. Now, this is not that we don't care about other people, but we also care about ourselves and we seek to live in alignment with us first and have a good sense of where we stand. 

25:57 

Okay, so if you notice through answering these questions that you tend toward a struggling sense of self, you probably identify pretty strongly with being a people pleaser. So remember, people pleasers are in the business of trying to make sure that other people accept and appreciate them. They change who they are and what they want in an effort to fit in with those around them so they will be liked and accepted. When we struggle to accept and approve of ourselves, we can find ourselves desperate to have the acceptance and approval of others, and that can drive us to do some pretty out-of character behaviors in order to get it. But it starts with us accepting and approving of ourselves. Now, having other people accept and approve of us is not a bad thing. That's a great part of life. But if we need it in order to feel good and to feel that we are a person of value, that is a sign of an underdeveloped sense of self, and in that place we are always going to struggle. 

27:09 

So let's take just a bit here at the end to talk about where we got our sense of self, because that will help to give us some indications of where we can start making some adjustments, where we can look at our thinking in order to strengthen our sense of self. Everyone is capable of having a strong sense of self, although because of our backgrounds, some of us have a lot more work to do than others. That's just kind of a life lottery, right? So to be clear, technically, I don't believe it's a lottery. I do believe that God is in the details of knowing who He sent us to in life and where He sent us in life, and also in supporting us in figuring it out. But from a human point of view, it can feel like a lottery sometimes, right? How did I end up with a mother who is kind and accepting and loving and who really stayed in her own lane, and I have friends whose mothers were demanding and controlling and belittling and always in their lane, well into my friend's adulthood? I don't know. Why does that happen? I don't get it. That's what I call it, the life lottery, right? God knows it. I believe. I believe very strongly that God knows why. But to me, it sometimes feels like a lottery. 

28:27 

So anyway. Much of our sense of self was developed in our childhoods. So individuation is the process of a child growing into the concept that they are a unique individual from their parents and family. So when a child is young, they see themselves as part of the whole. They don't see a distinction between themselves and their parents and their siblings. They're all one in the same. But as a child matures, they will begin to understand that they are a separate entity. So when the child is given a healthy space to explore, to question, to learn, to have their own wants and needs, individuation occurs in healthy ways and the child will feel confident in their uniqueness and they will develop a stronger sense of self. 

29:20 

If a child is met with criticism or punishment when they step out of the family. Maybe their parents shamed them or guilted them or punished them to the point where they couldn't breathe, right? They may feel shame and guilt around being themselves, about having their own wants and needs around stepping out into their individuality. So from a young age, a child can learn that their own personality, preferences, and perspectives, their wants and needs, their desires and interests are either acceptable or not acceptable. A child for whom these things are accepted, that the parents are like, "great, look at you growing." They will have a stronger sense of self, while a child who was rejected and criticized and even punished for who they were as an individual will generally struggle more with their sense of self. Okay, now we're talking generalizations, right? There's no one size fits all for any of this, please keep that in mind, but this is just to give you an idea of where things are and how they work, okay? 

30:32 

So another concept that factors into our sense of self is the type of attachment that we had to our parents, or our caregivers, while growing up. So without getting too far in over my own head, right, the relationships that we had with our parents or caregivers taught us how to interact in the world, especially in our closer relationships. So if your parents were busy and dismissive, you might have learned to be super independent as an adaptive behavior to survive as a child, or you might have learned that chasing after them for their acceptance and approval actually got finally got you the attention that you craved and really wanted from them. Either way, whether you went far into independence or far into becoming anxiously attached, so the other one would be called avoidant attachment and then anxiously attached, so either way your learned behaviors that helped you survive as a child, that did a great job as a child, that helped you survive this tough situation, these play into your sense of self and your ideas of how important and valuable you are to people close to you. 

31:44 

So many people grow up with what we call a secure attachment style, meaning they were secure in their relationships with their parents or caregivers They felt that they received and give and were given enough room to grow and to push those boundaries of growing up without being made to feel shame about it. The individuation was there like all of this stuff. Okay, while other children learn to be avoidant in order to survive emotionally, which some ways that comes about as looking like super independent, not needing other people, pushing other people away emotionally, or they may have learned to be anxious in their attachment, which means constantly chasing after the approval of others. 

32:32 

So there are all different variations within these, the secure and the avoidant and the anxiously attached, there's all kinds of different variations of those, but they all play into the sense of self that we created growing up and that we may continue to align with. And all of this can also factor in to the intensity of our desire to fit in with others and to gauge our value and worth based on other people's opinions and thoughts of us. So when someone desires to fit in, they are generally willing to morph themselves into who, or what they need to be to be accepted by whatever group they're engaging with. 

33:19 

And often as teenagers, when our whole sense of self is rocked by puberty anyway, we can develop patterns of engaging in ways that make others happy and allow us to fit in while actually turning our backs on our true sense of self. And if we are already feeling unacceptance and pushback for who we are in our families, when we start to individualize, it just gets worse when we enter our teen years and have this, this puberty factor going on that makes this desire to fit in even stronger. So maybe when we were at church, we would be all churchy and say all the right things. When we were on the basketball bus, we might have engaged in talking behavior that would have made a bartender blush, right? When we were with our parents, we might have been a very different person from the previous two. Point is, many of us learned to become who we felt was expected so that we could fit in rather than being able to identify and stand behind who we really were and what we really wanted. We didn't feel empowered to do that. We didn't feel strong enough to do that and to stand on our own if necessary. 

34:37 

And granted, this can be really difficult when most of us don't even know who we really are and what we really want when we're a teenager. And then we can add on all of the societal expectations that immerse both boys and girls in our youth and that have us aligning with things that don't feel true to us but that we often don't question because that's just how it is. I know for much of my youth and young adult years, I felt so much resistance inside of me to many of the societal expectations for women. But I also didn't question them because I just figured that's how it was and that's what was expected of me to be a good person and a faithful member of the Church. And I know other people who didn't respond that way. 

35:27 

What makes some people pick up on this earlier than others and figure it out and step into a stronger sense of self? I think it's very, very complicated. I think it's a combination of the above things that we've talked about and then you throw in some genetics, you throw in personality, you throw in perspective, you throw in preferences. And it gets very complicated where all this comes from. But being able to identify some of these factors can be helpful in developing a stronger sense of self because they can give us a starting point if we want to shift our trajectory. But I also don't think we will always be able to pinpoint all the things because it's all very complicated, right? And there's so many things that we just don't even realize that impacted and influenced us. 

36:17 

And also keep in mind that identifying factors and blaming need to be two different things. Identifying the thoughts that keep us stuck in a struggling sense of self can be helpful. While blaming, instead of taking responsibility, can actually get us more stuck. Now, that being said, if there is trauma that needs to be worked through, we need to work through it. Find a trauma counselor and get some work done. And this may necessitate pinpointing specific situations and people who impacted you in particularly negative ways. And we also need to make space to take responsibility for what we do from this point on. Though we are not responsible for other people and for traumatic things we may have experienced as a child or any part of our past at the hands of other people, we are responsible for how we proceed from this point on. 

37:20 

So there's a lot of background about our sense of self and in the next few weeks we're going to dig a little bit deeper into different aspects of our sense of self and how we can develop a stronger sense of self. This is big and important work because everything we do and are capable of doing our whole attitude toward our ability to engage in this work and to engage in life hinges on our sense of self. So now that we've laid a foundation for understanding we're going to expand it over the next few weeks, we're going to learn how to develop a healthier, stronger sense of self and we're going to understand how it impacts so many of the other arenas in our lives. So join me next week for the exciting continuation of sense of self, right? 

38:12 

This is a huge part of growing up, is developing a strong sense of self. You've got this, my friends, and I know some of you are dug pretty deep in an underdeveloped sense of self, and that's what we're doing here. We're figuring it out. We're going to dig you out a little bit at a time. Okay. Have an awesome, awesome week. If you feel like coaching is something that you would be interested in, please, please go to my website, tanyahale.com. Go to the "free consultation" tab, get my calendar, and find a time that works for you, and let's talk. I will give you a free coaching session where we can talk and discuss and figure things out, and then we can talk about coaching and see if coaching's a good fit for you. 

38:55 

Listen, things do not change until things change. If you are hurting in your relationships. If you are struggling, whether your partner wants to engage in this or not, if you are struggling, this is what I do, and this is what I've gotten to be really good at,. If you're struggling with a divorce decision, or working through a divorce, or after divorce, or if you're in a marriage and you're like, "listen, I don't want to get divorced, but gosh darn it, I don't know what to do with this situation here," I'm your person. I got you. 

39:31 

I've also started doing some coaching for couples that has been mind boggling to me. It's been amazing to see what I've been able to help people work through and figure out, and the WORK that they are doing, and let's put work in all caps, right? It is work, to be sure, but if you want to work with me individually, or if you want to work with me as a couple, go to my website, set up a consultation. Let's get some coaching done. Let's help you see things more clearly, and let's talk about what it takes to really work with me, and accelerate your learning process. I can help you do in three to six months that something that might take you years to do on your own. Not that you're not capable, but because I will be able to see things that you cannot. Let's get this together. The quality of your life depends upon the quality of your relationships, and if you have the capacity to make a change that will create better, healthier relationships, let's do it, my friends. Let's step into it, and let's get some serious solid work done, and let's help you. 

40:45 

The difference that coaching has made in my life is mind-boggling to me. The relationship that I am able to have with Sione and with my children at this stage of my life, I could not even have imagined it before, and so this is what we get to work towards. Have an awesome, awesome week, my friends. Hope to see you on my calendar, and I will see you here next week. 

41:11 

Bye! Thank you so much for joining me today. If you would love to receive some weekend motivation, be sure to sign up for my free "weekend win" Friday email: a short and quick message to help you have a better weekend and position yourself for a more effective week. Go to tanyahale.com to sign up and learn more about life coaching and how it can help you get to your best self ever. See ya!