Tanya Hale 00:00 

Hey there, welcome to Intentional Living with Tanya Hale, and this is episode number 311, "The Business and the Personal of Relationships with Wendy Lee Johnson." Welcome to your place for finding greater happiness through intentional growth, because we don't just fall into the life of our dreams...we choose to create it. This is Tanya Hale and I'm your host for Intentional Living. 

Tanya Hale 00:24 

Alright, hello there, my friends and welcome to the podcast. So happy to have you here today. I've got a really great interview today. I am talking with a dear friend of mine. Her name is Wendy Lee Johnson and she is a parent coach for parents who have children who are difficult, really difficult, and you're just going to love her and love the ideas that she shares. We're talking about the business and the personal of relationships today. And that means that in every relationship we have a piece of it that is business and a piece of it that is personal. And when we get these two mixed up, we wreak havoc in our relationships. But when we can keep the business part of our relationship separate from the personal part, then we can create some really beautiful, healthy relationships. And this is an idea that Wendy taught me many years ago when we first met and I use it a lot with my clients. I use it in my own personal life and I just wanted to bring her on as the person who taught this to me and have her share it with you. And so I guess it's going to do it. So here you go. 

Tanya Hale 01:37 

Okay, so here I am with my great friend, Wendy. Wendy and I have been friends for, what are we looking at? Four or five years? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 01:43 

Yes, but it feels like 20. 

Tanya Hale 01:46 

It feels like we've known each other forever. Wendy is also a life coach and that's how we met each other, at a coaching retreat that we both went to, and we have become great friends since then. Wendy is a coach for parents of kids that struggle and kids that are having a tough time making what many parents would decide is like the "good" decisions, right? And so anyway, she has this concept that she taught me a couple of years ago and that I use with a lot of my own clients. And I love it and I've wanted to do a podcast on it for a long time. And then finally I was like, 'why don't I just have Wendy come on and teach this concept?' Because I think she does such a brilliant job. So we're going to be talking today about the business and the personal aspects of relationships. What part of our relationships are business and what part are personal? So Wendy, why don't you start off by telling us exactly what that means? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 02:48 

Okay, now I love this because when I coach parents, it becomes super clear that we're keeping the business and personal kind of mushed together. And here's what it looks like: parents come to me, maybe their kids are acting out, maybe doing drugs or have truancy issues or self-harm and the parents are upset, they're worried, they're fearful. And early on we talk about dividing out the business from the personal, which often looks like a game plan. The business part is a game plan for what they do, what to do when they act out. And maybe it looks like no car for 48 hours if they miss curfew or they lose the phone when they fail a drug test. And that's the business portion. And as good business people, we stay neutral for the most part. And what this does, it cuts down on the resentment or the disappointment that parents have when their kids are sliding off the map. So no yelling, no silent treatment, we just kind of take care of the business. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 03:52 

And what that does, it leaves all the space for the personal, which for me, that describes connection, support, love, and that makes it so, even when their kids are failing a drug test, mom and dad can stay chill and chat in their room, have them out for pizza or whatever, but they also do the business portion, but they don't feel resentment about their kiddo making the  decisions and don't mix it all together. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 04:22 

So interestingly enough, when you're in a relationship, so it's not parent-child, but with a spouse or a partner, the business and personal is a little more nuanced. It gets a little bit more pulled together, but the personal, again, would be that unconditional love, that support, that connection, that's the personal. And then the business would be, "hey, listen, we've got some financial issues. Let's take a look at the budget. Let's pull this out." And maybe it would be easier if I started out with an example. 

Tanya Hale 05:00 

Let's go back to a parenting example, just because I think that might be super, super easy to show. So let's say that I have a child who came home drunk. And that is a family rule that that's not to happen when you're 17 or something, right? So my 17 year old comes home, totally drunk. It's not the first time. And I am livid, like I'm so angry. And I'm so mad. And I can't believe this. Like, how where do I go from there to separate out the business and the personal? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 05:36 

Well, I love the whole livid. Many times I will take my I used to take my own pulse. I have nine kiddos. And so we did a lot of this action, but I would take my own pulse first to see how dysregulated I was. So the first thing you have to do is get yourself calm down a little bit, a little bit of deep breathing, possibly it's not even the time to deal with it right then because you can't quite get yourself to a calm spot because... 

Tanya Hale 06:06 

But that kid has to know that this is not okay. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 06:09 

Right. So if you said it's not the first time, so you have probably put in place something like, "hey, listen, if you come home drunk, it's no car for two weeks and we're taking your phone for 48 hours." So you've kind of got a game plan. So he comes home drunk. And by the way, they're not really great negotiators while they're drunk anyway. You just point them to their room, grab their phone and the keys to the car, and let them sleep it off. In the meantime, you have time to co-regulate with your partner, get yourself back together and say, "listen, I'm going to separate out the business and personal here. The business is the car keys and the phone. And we just did that. So now let's look at the personal. I love this son. I love him. And it looks like he's trying to reach out, going through something, wonder how we can best support him, what he really needs. How can I show him I love him?" And instead of feeling resentful that he made this decision again, that he went against family rules and all that, the business is out of it. You can do that separate and be kind of neutral about that. It's not like some big swipe of the car keys. It's not a dramatic, I told you we were going to do this. It's just, we're good business people. We just take the phone, we do it. And then we work on the personal. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 07:37 

But if you keep it mushed together, like keep that anger about what he did, then it colors everything you do from there. And we really make poor decisions and take poor actions. When we're upset, disappointed, frustrated, livid, only bad comes from that. So in that situation you get yourself calmed down, you do the business like you said you would, but neutral, almost like a police officer giving a ticket. You just say "hey, looks like you're going 20 over and here's your ticket." 

Wendy Lee Johnson 08:10 

So that's what I recommend kind of in a nutshell but having a game plan before for the business...and maybe you don't have a game plan before. Maybe they show up, you smell weed and you're like "ah this has never happened" and you say "hey listen, um your dad and I we're not exactly sure what we're going to do but we'll figure out something on the business end of it, we'll let you know tomorrow and see you tomorrow morning and hey, we love you," and that kind of thing. So it really helps parents to show up in a crisis or what looks like a crisis, or what we tell ourselves as a crisis, calm and regulated. 

Tanya Hale 08:52 

I love that. I love all of that. The thing that comes to mind for me is that when I mix the business and personal, I oftentimes would want to make their behavior mean something about me. They're smoking weed, so that means I'm a bad parent, or that means they're trying to hurt me, or they're trying to do something. That's part of that mixing as well. Am I correct? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 09:18 

Yes, and so when you separate out the business, then they become responsible for their own business. They knew what was  going to happen, that's fine, and so then it lets them handle their own consequences. When you separate it out, it helps you get clear on everything. Hey, listen, for sure I'm disappointed. I wish that hadn't happened, but it did. It helps you get on board with reality a little bit quicker. It helps you decide, what I make of this is now my choice. I can take on part of what he did, but I'm not going to. That was his decision, and we've got a game plan for this. It helps you show up more as an emotional adult instead of dropping back into, say, your own teenage chair of fighting, or whatever you're thinking would help in the moment. Because we think sometimes yelling gets it, or that's how it was modeled for us as we were kiddos. It helps you also break family trees of how it's all handled, and your own past patterns, which generally haven't been all that helpful. It's definitely a new approach to old problems, so I like it for that as well. 

Tanya Hale 10:37 

I love that too, because I think you're right. I think for a lot of us, it was modeled that if I just get angry and yell and shame the other person, that that's going to clean up the behavior, which I think we all know that that never does anything to clean up behavior. Which, if they do clean up behavior, it comes with a lot of resentment and a lot of anger going on, which destroys the relationship, right? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 10:59 

Because shaming its intent is to manipulate you and to make you feel bad. And even though we don't intend it like that, that's what it is for. And so that never really helps the personal side. And now my kids are, you know, 25 to 35 and we have great personal relationships because that was always happening. There wasn't the shaming piece. And, you know, I have kiddos that I've done everything from felonies, heroin, jail, the whole thing. But if you can keep the business separate, then it helps to keep the personal really clean. It helps to keep the personal really active. 

Tanya Hale 11:46 

And I love that it allows us to show up loving that child the way that we love them and just show up genuinely loving and kind, but also have some really clear boundaries around, "but this is not okay." And I mean, as your kids become adults, which is what a lot of the work that I do with clients, we also don't even really get to have a say over what's okay and what's not on most things, because they're adults and they get to make those choices. But it allows us to, I think, from what you're saying, it allows us to say, "listen, they're an adult, they can make their own choices, they get to do that. And I just get to be over here, loving them, and enjoying them and supporting them the best, the way that I can, without getting caught up in their drama as they're adults," right? Like I can let them take care of their business at that point. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 12:36 

Exactly. And that's the verbiage is good as well, because, "oh, that's their business. That is not my business. And it's not even our business. That's their business. And my job is just personal at this point, I have very little business with them." Yeah, so that's exactly, exactly. 

Tanya Hale 12:53 

Okay, so then let's take this into a more like, like a marital relationship. Let's use this. So and let's go to finances, because I think that that's often a hot topic, where it's probably going to be pretty easy to see the separation between between the business and the personal aspect. So let's say that, that your spouse is a spender. He likes the freedom that comes from spending money. And you're a saver, because you like the security that comes from saving. So your husband wants to buy a $75,000 pickup. Alright, so how do we how do we separate out the business and personal? Because for me, I would be like, what $75,000 on a pickup? Like that's one vehicle, that's like so much money. And I can see that my brain would start going into judgment of "oh my gosh, like does he not care about our safety, our financial security in our future, does he not care?" I can see how it can be easy to go into that space when my drive for having money is to keep me safe. So how do we separate all the business and personal in something like that? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 14:07 

Well, I love how you started out as well, describing the husband and wife, one as a spender, one as a saver. So the first thing we do when it's business, we stay completely neutral and kind of stay with the facts. So technically, we are all savers and spenders. And so we remove those labels, which always come with a certain charge. Meaning, if I've always seen myself as the saver, then I have these micro-resentments every time he buys $500 at Costco, instead of the $200 I asked him to spend there or whatever it is. So it kind of starts this slow build, then finally he says the 75K truck and you're like, "my gosh," so the idea is, for finances, especially is a great one, to be able to, and I like to visualize it as like a round table. And many times what we do is our spouse is on one side and we are on the exact opposite and the money issue is in the middle.  And we're going back and forth, and kind of pulling that money issue one way or the other, considering our rightness, who's right about it and how much should we save, how much should we spend? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 15:28 

But what I like to do is always consider to pull the chairs right side by side. If you're holding hands in your mind, that's even better. And the money piece is in the middle. What this does is makes it collaborative. It makes it so you're on the same team. It's not a spender and a saver. It's the money's in the middle and how shall we approach this? And so this then becomes the business piece. And the piece of it that's brilliant is that you deal on not just the 75K, but you pull it way back to, "hey, listen, I feel more secure," say the wife says, "when we have this amount going per month," whatever, "15% going per month into retirement, this much into an emergency fund. That's really, I'd love that. What do you think?" And so you kind of go back and forth and he'd say, "my goal is a 75K truck. I love this truck. This truck would mean everything to me." And she says, "wow, that is some truck. I'd like to go drive it with you, da, da, da." So you talk about the possibilities of saving. How could it work for both of you? And it's merely a business proposition. And then you decide also roughly how the spending goes for all kinds of things. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 16:43 

So you are both spending and you are both saving. And that's the business end. So then it makes it so even when finances come up or he looks at something and says "oh, would you just love that" and you say "that is something else. Tell me about it," and you don't have to worry, you don't have to be disappointed that he still loves that stuff or that he wants that, because you've also connected and loved him up and know that he just loves to collect cars or car things or everything truck or whatever it is. So it also allows you to so connect, support, love, and then maybe for a while when he's in the heat of the truck, you guys meet a little bit more often. You figure out how to you know speed it up. What could he sell? What could make that possible? What could make it work for both of you? Then you don't harbor the disappointment and the frustration, and he doesn't harbor the same feelings because you are able to lay it out on the business table. Something like that. Thoughts? 

Tanya Hale 17:55 

Yeah, I think that's brilliant. So in my, when I do my coaching in here on the podcast, I always talk about, we scooch our butts around the table and we sit cheek to cheek. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 18:04 

That's right. No, that's exactly. And I feel it. I feel it. Whenever I even think of that, it makes me feel different about our approach. Absolutely. 

Tanya Hale 18:16 

Yeah. And so when we do that, I mean, really taking the personal out of it takes all the emotional energy out of that, all of the personal, like, this is going to hurt my feelings if you say you want this or you want that, right? We're just putting facts on the table. We're just saying like, "tell me all the things." 

Wendy Lee Johnson 18:36 

Yes. Yes. 

Tanya Hale 18:37 

Other than making it mean something about me. Like he doesn't love me. Otherwise he would want to put more money in savings. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 18:43 

Right. And the second we bring in any judgment, like spender/saver, or "why don't you want to do it my way?" we're quickly moving to opposite sides of the table again and pointing a finger. Also remember that it's like, so that separates us. And you say, "well, he is a spender," but don't forget you have spent also. We all are spenders and savers. So anything that doesn't really benefit a business meeting, like labeling, judging, bringing up old past stuff, all that kind of thing...that if it doesn't benefit it, you just leave it off the table. Like you say, scooch to the same side and kind of, that's the best view. You can both see everything at once. And maybe you do need to up level to some type of budgeting, maybe a light budgeting thing for even six months. I heard a specialist the other day say, "you don't have to do it forever. Just kind of get a bead on your patterns" and that kind of thing. So maybe that's good. And you just decide what works for you as a couple from that same side of the table. 

Tanya Hale 19:46 

Okay, I love that. I think that that's really, really clear. Let's do one other example. So let's see another example. Can you give us one from your life of how you're doing that? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 19:59 

Yes. So I have a great one. I am getting remarried in a week. So I'm so excited. 

Tanya Hale 20:06 

I am too. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 20:09 

Basically, he has started to move his stuff in and that kind of thing. And we had a great in-depth discussion last night about and he said, "you know, I have a lot of stuff. And I'm worried about that." And he was really vulnerable and said, you know, kind of the amounts of stuff and asked me what I thought about it all. Interestingly enough, he said, "What if I made just a huge pile in your garage? What would that feel like to you?" So, some past history on me, I'm kind of that pared down, organized, everything in its place, you know, counters clear. So, now we're bringing together the two different kinds. So, here's what I said. Well, immediately, I wanted to tease out the business part of it. And what that looks like is he and I sitting right on the same side of the table and me saying, "well, listen, I've cleared out like half the closet and I think we could use that extra dresser in this room. And what about more storage in here? And what if we staged part in the garage and part downstairs?" And it's almost like his eyes started to widen like, "wait, what? We could have a plan around this? This could be okay?" 

Wendy Lee Johnson 21:29 

So, that is the brilliant part about teasing out the business. And then we were able to just relax and say, "okay, so now how do you feel about it?" And he said, "I feel like loved, accepted, and that there's a solution." He's already like purchased two dressers this morning because we had a kind of a game plan and we could make it seem like a mountain, literally. Or we could just make it seem like, you know, everything is figureoutable if we bring it to the table, we're sitting on the same side, the issue is in the middle. It doesn't even have to be a problem. It's just the facts are in the middle. We're moving in together. And this is what it would look like to combine two households. Of course it's complex. Of course there's a lot to do, but we're great business people as well. And so we'll stay neutral about it. No blame, no shame, no pointing fingers, all of that. 

Tanya Hale 22:31 

Yeah, I love that because, you know, John Gottman in his book, The Seven Traits of Happy Marriages, or whatever that, whatever that book is, I love that he talks about the first three foundational pieces of any great relationship are elements of friendship. And remembering that the relationship is more important than anything else. Whenever we engage with these people in our lives, whether it be our children or our friends or our spouse or a fiance or whoever, the relationship is most important. And so I love this business/personal concept, because when we can just take out the business, which is oftentimes what we get freaked out about, because we make that business mean... when they get commingled, we make it our emotions get caught up in making those decisions. And we make those decisions mean something about us, right? Like, we make it mean something about the relationship, where it doesn't really have anything to do with the relationship. It's stuff that needs to be taken care of and figured out. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 23:39 

Right. 

Tanya Hale 23:39 

And the relationship is prioritized when we take all that business stuff out and deal with it separately. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 23:47 

Exactly. Well, and I love what you said, the relationship is prioritized. One thing that I've been focusing on, that we've been focusing on quite a bit is that idea of, I'm myself in one circle, he's in another circle, and there's a complete circle in between us that's called "us." And it's not a ven diagram. There's no overlap. When it just happens to overlap, we literally step into that circle because we prioritize our relationship. That means that we take care of our business. So if there's like a little financial thing brewing or a little bit of a household thing, maybe she's doing more of the household work or he is, interestingly enough, the third most important factor in a long-term relationship after fidelity and healthy sex life is how they  handle household chores. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 24:43 

Now, tell me that isn't straight up business, but crazy important. So the idea is that we step into this "us" circle and keep digging around us and seeing, okay, what's the business we need to take care of so that we can just focus on our love, connection, support, and all of that. And so this is another example of us stepping into the "us" circle and really standing up. And I think finances are a great place to say to yourself, "oh no, finances are going pretty good. Well, could they go a little bit better? Could we hone it up a little bit better? What are our dreams about stuff?" And then take care of the business related to that. Really the direction we want to. So not only does this handle kind of the crisis management or the contention piece, but it also boosts the good relationship to be great. 

Tanya Hale 25:36 

Yeah. I love that because the underlying message here as well that I'm seeing is that his wants and needs matter. My wants and needs matter. We are equal partnerships in this. And so as we come around, we're approaching things from, listen, both of our viewpoints matter. Both of our wants and needs matter. Let's just talk about it. Let's get it on the table, let's sit cheek to cheek and let's just discuss this and figure it out. And let's figure out how can we get as many of your wants and needs and my wants and needs in what we're talking about. And it also allows us that space to not get angry and upset about it because we feel insecure or we feel unheard or we feel whatever, which is all the personal side, right? Like we just get to like, let's be business partners. Let's take care of this. Now let's go be intimate partners. And let's be friends and let's prioritize this over here and not make the fact that he wants a $75,000 truck mean anything about our relationship? Because that's not something that's, I mean, it's a business piece that we get to talk about, but it doesn't have anything to do with the personal part of our relationship. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 26:47 

Exactly. And you brought up a really important point about recognizing our own needs and then risking putting them out there. And I think women especially are socialized to really not have that many needs. And if we do, we don't generally put it out there. So I feel like one of my biggest steps in the right direction for stepping into the circle of us is recognizing what it is I need and risking putting out there. And then the third step is to start negotiating about it. And negotiating does sound like business, but I kind of love it now because it can be neutral. Maybe I need more alone time or more together time. But once I let him know, then we start saying, "OK, what about every other Friday night we go out and the date looks like this," or just whatever it looks like? 

Wendy Lee Johnson 27:40 

So I know you have a great concept of front burner and no back burners. So I actually have a note on my iPhone that says front burner. It's all the things that I feel like I would like to talk about. And this is good communication. It's putting out what I'm feeling like I need, whether it's more support or more this or more that. And it enables us to separate out any business pieces. But this is how I feel his support. This is how I feel his love. He feels mine because I'm being vulnerable and telling him what I need. And we work on those things. And it brings us literally closer and keeps us in that "us" circle. That's the circle of "us." And, you know, I guess there's so many times where we think, "well, I'll tell him my needs because I'm me," but actually telling him my needs is me in the "us" circle. If I was back in my own circle, I would just take care of my own needs. I wouldn't tell anybody, and that's how I did it for a while. But this is like the very, very much up leveled. And then being able to separate out the business and stay neutral about it helps all the negotiation almost to be fun and playful. When you're talking about a truck, you can make it work. I think it all comes together like this, yeah. 

Tanya Hale 29:06 

Yeah, I just love the idea that when we can really learn to separate that out, it takes so much of the drama out of our relationships. It just takes that emotional drama. I call it the drama response, right? The drama response just doesn't have anywhere to go when we separate out the business from the personal. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 29:29 

Yes, because drama essentially is fueled with resentment, disappointment, fear, it's like all these emotions that are just like welling up in us. But if we are able to keep everything coming out, talking about it, that kind of thing, then that stuff doesn't build up and something bigger happens, we separate out the business. And then we talk about, "hey, hey, what's going on here, this is kind of bigger," but we take care of the business as well. Because like I always say, we're good business people, we're neutral, we don't have to even yell about that stuff. We just like, say, "okay, so it looks like we have 24 hours to return that truck, because we didn't really talk about it," or whatever it turns out to be. "And then then let's talk about it, because I  see you really want it." So, so yeah. 

Tanya Hale 30:14 

Yeah. Okay, I love it. Yes, one of my favorite concepts; I use it with my clients quite often. And I'm so glad that you who introduced me to it, were able to come on today to do that. So is there anything else that just last minute, you're like, "Oh, wait, let me just say this one more thing that you can think of?" 

Wendy Lee Johnson 30:32 

Um, well, let's see. So I'm in a relatively new relationship, and very motivated to do this. But even if you've been together for literally decades, it is a great idea to say, "Listen, how can I step into the 'us' circle every day? What would that look like, to me, to my partner?" And I believe it is just so worth it to it's just the supreme up level of your life. And I know you work with a lot of people about this, but I just have really, really loved it. So yeah. 

Tanya Hale 31:14 

Yeah. So the "us" circle I in the past, I've always called it the "relationship circle" as well, right? Like this place, since I read Terry Reel's book, "Us," I've also started referring to it as the "us" circle as well. Because I just love this space of we are in that relationship for a reason, because we want to create something. And that requires that we learn how to do things like separate out the business from the personal, if we want to have that relationship circle be a beautiful, enjoyable, fulfilling space. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 31:50 

Exactly. Exactly. Emily Dixon said, "all I know of love is love is all there really is." And I feel like this distills it right down, you pull the business out, take care of any issues over on the side, and then just keep the love running strong. So whatever it takes to do that. 

Tanya Hale 32:09 

Yeah. Yeah. And this is a great way to do that. Such a great way to just keep the waters from getting so muddy. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 32:16 

Exactly. 

Tanya Hale 32:18 

Oh, Wendy. I love you. Thank you so much for coming. Okay. So I really quick, I want you to tell people like what you do with your business, where you're at, where they can find you because you've got some amazing...I love your podcast, by the way, I listen to it all the time. 

Wendy Lee Johnson 32:30 

Thank you. So my podcast is called "Parenting the Tough Stuff." And you can find it on wherever podcasts are found. And my website, if you want to see a little bit more about what I do is found at wendyleejohnsoncoaching.com. And that will probably be in the show notes. So that's perfect. And I help parents, a lot of them are in crisis where their kids are either coming out of residential or going in or they've got some tough straits going, I deal especially with adoptive parents. I've adopted six children as well. And so love, love working with parents and helping them separate out the business and personal and kind of get a game plan of how to move through these really complicated times. It's times we haven't been all that prepared for. So, so yeah, it's a wonderful, wonderful thing. 

Tanya Hale 33:26 

Yeah, Wendy's a great, great coach. She coaches me sometimes when when my life when I'm just like, "wait a minute," which is probably more often than I would like to admit. But thank you so much, Wendy. Isn't she fabulous? Aren't you so glad I brought her on? Okay, so here's the fun thing. Wendy's going to be back next week on the podcast as well. And I'm going to do a two week thing where we talk about how divorce is not the end. And even if you're married, I think this is going to be a fascinating couple of podcasts. I mean, we all know people who are divorced, and to understand this process a little bit better and to understand what people go through and the challenges. So Wendy's going to be here next week talking about how divorce is not the end. And then the week after that, I am going to have my sweet husband, Sione, on and he's going to talk about how divorce is not the end as well. So we're going to have a part one and a part two. And I'm just super excited to get some different viewpoints because I know I talk about, you know, that in aspects for me, but I'm super excited for that. 

Tanya Hale 34:30 

And Wendy's, you're like calm, like your voice just like settles me down every time and I love it. Okay, pretty fabulous, right? Okay, you are going to love her next week as well. We're going to be talking about how divorce is not the end. She is just a coach who is just wise and brilliant and she coaches me quite often and I love her a lot. 

Tanya Hale 35:02 

So here's the deal about coaching. I have one-on-one slots available. I have filled the couples coaching slots that I was doing. So if you are interested in that, hold on until I get the ground underneath my feet. Thank you very much with learning how to do this. I appreciate the couples who are trusting me with this endeavor. And then probably sometime this fall, I think I'll be I'll be opening up some coaching for couples as I'm doing this. But in the meantime, if you want to get in touch with me about someone on one coaching, you can go to tanyahale.com. You can go to the "free consultation" button and you can set up a free 90 minute coaching consult call with me. So I will give you some coaching on the topic of your choice, which is just brilliant and fun and amazing to me. I'm enjoying it so much. And I love getting to give you some really helpful tools and insight. And then we also talk about whether coaching would be a good fit for you. I tell you the cost and how long it goes and what it looks like and all the things. And then you can make a decision if it's a good fit for you. And I promise you, I'm not a high stress, high pressure. I'm not even a low stress, low pressure. I'm like a no stress, no pressure kind of person. Like this is either a good fit for you or it's not. And that's yours to decide, not mine. But I do really enjoy doing some coaching. So if you just want to check that out and see what it is. And I'd love to invite you to join me there. And that's going to do it, my friends. Have a really, really great week and I will see you next time. Bye. 

Tanya Hale 36:46 

Thank you so much for joining me today. If you would love to receive some weekend motivation, be sure to sign up for my free "weekend win" Friday email: a short and quick message to help you have a better weekend and position yourself for a more productive week. Go to tanyahale.com to sign up and learn more about life coaching and how it can help you get to your best self ever. See ya.