00:00 

Hey there, this is Intentional Living with Tanya Hale and this is episode number 177, "Change Made Easy." Welcome to your place for finding greater happiness through intentional growth, because we don't just fall into the life of our dreams...we choose to create it. This is Tanya Hale and I'm your host for Intentional Living. 

00:20 

Alright. Hello there, my friends. Welcome to the podcast today. So happy to have you here. Appreciate you carving time into your schedule for this stuff. I love it and I love the things that we share and the things that I'm able to talk to you about. This really is just all about growth. One little tiny incremental piece at a time. We are just shifting how we think, shifting then how 

we feel and how we do things. And it all starts in our brain and we just really need to start managing our brain and make it work. And that is kind of what we're going to be talking about today. We are talking about change made easy. 

01:03 

Okay. This is the thing with self-improvement: sometimes it can feel so daunting, right? Especially when we think of how many times we may have tried to change this one thing. So for example, maybe you've tried to eat better, start exercising every day this last year. And you haven't, right? Maybe you're working on trying to be more organized or to be on time more. Maybe you're trying to judge less or to be more patient or not to gossip so much. So what we're going to be chatting about today is about how to make these changes without so much pain. When we are trying to change these characteristics of ourself, these pattern behaviors in ourself, it can seem just overwhelming sometimes because the patterns are so deep, right? The habits are so ingrained and it can be challenging to shift that. Okay? So we're going to talk about how to do this more easily. 

02:03 

So we're going to start by talking about our primitive brain and what we call the "motivational triad." Okay, primitive brain we know is that back part of our brain that just runs everything automatically, all those habits, all those patterns, they are stored in there. And when you are not intentionally thinking about changing them, your brain just says "okay, this is what we're doing. We got it," right? So our primitive brain works off of something that we call the "motivational triad." So this means that we are motivated by three things. One: we're motivated by avoiding pain. Two: by seeking pleasure. And three: by conserving energy. So this will always be our primitive brain's default. When we're not thinking intentionally, our brain will always offer us solutions that are part of the motivational triad. Okay, now this is a survival instinct for now, but mostly from days gone by when, let's say, we all lived in caves with our tribe, right? Our primitive brain's purpose is to keep us alive. Okay, and all three of these things, avoiding pain, seeking pleasure, conserving energy, all of those keep us alive. And at least they used to way more than they do now. Sometimes they still do. But not so much as they were thousands of years ago. 

03:32 

So for example, when we're doing something physically that is hurting us, our pain level warns us to stop. When we're cold and in danger of freezing, our desire for the pleasure of being warm motivates us to move to find shelter or to build a fire. When we're sick, our desire to rest and conserve energy is important for our health. But in many cases, our society has progressed to the point that this motivational triad doesn't serve us as well as it used to. In fact, sometimes it does the opposite of serving us. And it can actually hold us back or keep us stagnant and create destructive patterns, patterns that keep us from growing, patterns that keep us from moving into healthier spaces. 

04:17 

So for example, since most of us no longer keep in shape by working the farm all day long, it's important for us to get some physical exercise. But our brain wants to conserve energy by sitting on the sofa. Our brain wants to avoid the pain of a good workout by sitting on the sofa. And our brain wants to seek pleasure by watching Netflix while sitting on the sofa. Alright? So our primitive brain wants to eat fast food rather than cooking real because it's pleasurable to eat. We can serve energy by not cooking ourselves. We avoid the pain of doing the work and deciding what to cook and then clean up afterwards. When we look at so many of the decisions we make in a day, it is easy to see how many of them stem from this motivational triad. So what's a girl to do? How do we combat this very powerful part of our brain? How do we kick our prefrontal cortex into gear  and do the things we really ultimately want to do rather than giving into the whims of the primitive brain? 

05:25 

Okay, so let's start off by looking at change. Change requires a lot of mental acuity. The reason is because our primitive brain likes to do everything the easy way and the easiest way is the way that it's always been done. Right? So changing means that we are going against the way that it's always been done. So our primitive brain is going to be over there rooting for the way that it's already always been done. So think again about the motivational triad. Change is painful, it's not pleasurable, and it uses energy. Three things that our primitive brain is working against. This is why change can be so hard. But here's the good news: we can hack the primitive brain system. We can use the motivational triad against our primitive brain to create change in our lives. We can make our primitive brain think that it's getting exactly what it wants. 

06:27 

So here's how we do that. Step one, we need to break our change up into little bits. Big tasks overwhelm our primitive brain and it goes straight into hyperdrive to protect itself from the change that it knows is going to be a lot of work, not very pleasurable. It's going to be painful, take a lot of energy, right back to that motivational triad. So big tasks just make our brain go, "whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I can't do this. This is too much." But change in little teeny bits doesn't register so heavily in our primitive brain, so we don't get so much resistance because little changes seem possible. While big changes do not. Changing our diet overnight to eat only fresh fruits and vegetables and grilled chicken and fish makes our brain freak out because for many of us that would be a huge change. So many things about our diet would need to be adjusted. We would be giving up pleasurable foods that we love and maybe eating foods that are painful to eat. We would be changing our patterns of food prep and shopping that uses up a lot of energy. However, here's a small change: if we decide to add just one extra serving of vegetables to your menu for the day, it's small enough that your brain doesn't freak out. 

07:55 

So does it still require paying attention and intentionally doing it? Yes, but we are not going to get the same level of resistance from our brain. So the first thing we want to do is break it down, break it down, break it down. Sounds like I could just be singing a song, right? We want to break it down into bite-sized pieces, fun-sized pieces, right? I think that's what they market the candy as when it's little, right? So we first of all, little small pieces. So then the next thing we want to do is to make sure that those bite -sized pieces are easy, simple, and fun. So here's why: when our brain wants to conserve energy, it's looking for the easiest path, right? Less physical energy, less mental energy. So make your small change easy. Okay? Easy doesn't trigger your brain on the conserve energy blinking lights, right? Like "whoa, whoa, whoa, we've got a conserve energy here." If it's super easy, your brain's just going to go, "meh. That's all right. It's not a big deal." When our brain wants to avoid pain, it's looking for a simpler path. So make your change simple. And when our brain wants to seek pleasure, it is looking for things that are fun. So make your change fun. When our small changes are simple, easy and fun, the resistance from our primitive brain goes way down. It's kind of an amazing little brain hack. 

09:29 

Okay, so let's look at another example. Let's say you want to start exercising more. Well, you could come and exercise with me at 5am, five days a week. But most likely your brain is going to freak out and go, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I can't do that." Because getting up early can be painful, especially that early, right? It's way more pleasurable to stay in bed and sleep. And by not exercising, you're conserving energy. So how do we support our primitive brain in seeing exercise more as simple, easy, and fun? So obviously this would be different for everyone because everybody likes different things and stuff. But here's a few examples to kind of get you started on figuring out what would work for you. 

10:13 

Park farther away from the entrance to where you're going so you can walk longer distances. Simple, right? It's a simple thing. You don't have to get up early. You don't have to do any of that. It's easy, right? It's just parking a little bit farther away. And it can be fun if you find some way to spice it up. Maybe you could use a step tracker and you challenge yourself to reach a certain number of steps today. Maybe you grab a cart and you get it going fast and you ride on the back. Maybe you skip a little bit and just see how many looks people can give you like find some way to spice it up to make it a little bit fun. If there's an escalator or a stair option, take the stairs. So simple, also very easy. And depending on how you think about it, it could also be fun. You can see someone who is on the escalator next to you going up as well and you can see if you can beat them to the top. Make it a game. Create a fun challenge for yourself. Find some way to make it more fun. If you need to drop something off at a friend's house just a few blocks away, walk or take your bicycle instead of driving your car. It won't take very long. And guess what? You don't even have to bother grabbing your purse or your car keys. It's  simple, it's easy and if you invite someone in your home to go with you, that can make it fun. Or listen to your favorite music or your podcast while you're walking, that's always fun. Or just ponder a situation you're in the middle of and see how many options for resolving it you can come up with on your walk. Starting small and making it simple, easy and fun is a great way to start changing our thoughts, which then change our feelings, which then change our behaviors. 

11:59 

This whole "change made easy" starts with our thoughts. If we think that it's small, simple, easy, and fun, then it changes our feelings. We don't feel so much resistance. We might even feel a little bit of anticipation, or maybe even a little bit of excitement about it, which then makes moving into the behavior so much easier. So when we keep this concept in our head, and we are continually asking ourselves how to do this, figuring out how to move to the next step, that can actually be fun as well. Like figuring out "how do I make this easier for myself? How can I make it easy, simple, and fun? How can I break this task down into 20 little steps?" How many steps can you create? Maybe instead of trying to figure out what's the fastest way to get there, what's the longest way to get there? Like how many little steps can you create? Make it a fun thing. 

12:55 

So I want you to think about a change you've been wanting to make in your life, and I want you to figure out how to break it into your first really small task. Maybe you want to clean out your storage room or apply for a new job. Break it down into the smallest possible pieces so that they are mindlessly simple and easy, and then add an element of fun. Cleaning out the storage room, maybe today you just get three boxes and take them down to the storage room. That's it. That's all you do. Right? Mindlessly simple and easy. And then add a little bit of fun, right? You'll be amazed at how easy it can be to implement the small steps. 

13:35 

And finally, so the last thing, find joy in every one of those small steps. Every little teeny tiny bit of progress, guess what? Is progress. And often we can find ourselves getting on our case for not doing big enough things or not doing enough them or doing them fast enough. We want the change we want to make by next week or tomorrow or better yet yesterday. Right? But let's chill a bit. Let's remember that the bulk of the satisfaction in what we accomplish does not come when we've accomplished the task at the end. It comes along the way as long as we make a conscious effort to love ourselves through the process. When you take one of these small, simple, easy, and fun steps and remind yourself how amazing you are and how great it is that you're moving forward, then you're in a much better space and it keeps the momentum going. When we think that we can only be happy when it's completed, that doesn't make for a very fun journey. And if it's not fun, our brain doesn't like it. If it's not easy, if it's not simple, our brain is going to resist it. So intentionally choose to praise yourself every step of the way, celebrating every time you move in the direction that you want. This is a really great way to increase the fun factor, not just in the task, but in our lives as a whole. 

15:08 

Okay, last week I accomplished a small task that I had had on my docket for a while. It's amazing to me how long sometimes things can sit there. And it didn't take me very long when I really got down to it, and you know what I did afterwards? I turned on some great dance music and I had a solo dance party in my kitchen. Just knocked it out of the park for a few minutes because I was like "listen, look what I just did. I'm amazing!" And I may have been making up my own lyrics to the song talking about how amazing I am and how great it is that I got that done. But I'm not gonna confirm that for sure. But I will tell you that it felt amazing and was such a fun way to celebrate my win. Right? It doesn't have to be huge. We just need to acknowledge it and say :look what I did." Was it small? Yes, but was it a huge step forward? Absolutely. Because we start the momentum, we get moving on that path, and that first step is always the hardest. 

16:16 

Okay, this is what we're talking about today, how to make change easy. Give it a shot. Give it a shot and send me an email. You can get on my Facebook or you can get on my website and you can send me a note. Let me know if you have questions. Let me know how it's working for you and, good heavens, my friends if you need some help, let's chat. Okay? This is the time of year where a lot of times we feel overwhelmed with so much to do. Let's take care of it. Let's do it. I am down to just one open coaching spot left. So if you want it, if you're ready to go, this is a perfect time of year to do it. As we talked about last week, this is the time of year where a lot of us are involved in a lot of things that we may or may not want to be involved in. And this is a great opportunity, working with a coach to make intentional decisions about what you want to do to manage the stress and the drama that can sometimes come with all of these family gatherings and all the things going on. This is a great time to do coaching. And if you get me now, your 12 weeks is going to bleed into the new year, which is a great time to look  at this change as well and to start being really clear on what you want to accomplish and what you want to create for this upcoming year. So this is like the perfect time to get into coaching. So I hope to hear from you soon. You can just go on my website, tanyahale.com. You can book a free consult 30 minutes where we talk about how coaching can help you get the results that you want, how it can help you become the person you want to become, how it can help you be more at peace, find more growth, have more confidence, have better relationships, have more self-love. All these things are pieces of coaching that I work with my clients on. Okay, so that my friends, is it for today. Good luck with all your stuff that you're doing. I know it's a busy time of year. You've got this my friend. If you need some help, I got you. Okay, I am here to help you figure it out. Have an awesome, awesome week and I will talk to you next time. Bye. 

18:36 

Thank you so much for joining me today. If you would love to receive some weekend motivation, be sure to sign up for my free "weekend win" Friday email: a short and quick message to help you have a better weekend and position yourself for a more productive week. Go to tanyahale.com to sign up and learn more about life coaching and how it can help you get to your best self ever. See ya.