00:00 

Hey there, this is Intentional Living with Tanya Hale and this episode number 109 "Your Reason Matters... A Lot." Welcome to your place for finding greater happiness through intentional growth, because we don't just fall into the life of our dreams...we choose to create it. This is Tanya Hale, and I'm your host for Intentional Living. 

00:24 

Hey there, my friends. So happy to have you here today This is Tanya, a little buzzed. I just got off a coaching call that was just so amazing to me. I love it when I can help a client to see what's going on in their brain and have them go, "huh, I had no idea that thought was happening and I have not that idea was optional." This one thing I loved about coaching. It is Wednesday today, and I had a coaching session for me Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. So three days in a row. I have worked with a coach who has helped me and I have had some experiences with that this week that have been mind boggling. I coached with all three of them. This is all 3 different people, on the same kind of topic...something that I'm working my way through trying to figure myself out a little bit more and figure out what's going on. And Monday gave me some insight that was really helpful for me. 

01:31 

And I took that to my coaching on Tuesday and the coaching just built on that and gave some more information about what I was thinking, what I feeling, and what was happening. Then I brought that to the coach this morning. The coach I worked with this morning, it all just kind of fit together and came together. I was like, "oh my gosh, I see what I've been needing to see. I've seen what I have been trying to work on here." And I just feel like it has changed the course of the direction that I'm going. And this, my friends, is the power of coaching. I love that you are on here. I loved that you're listening, that you are hopefully applying all of this stuff and creating something new and different in your life. 

02:18 

But if you have not tried a coaching call, it can be very, very helpful to help you see things that are going on, especially consistent coaching. Having those three right in a row this week, which I coach my clients once a week but because of some things going on, I had these three, right in a row and it was amazing to me how they each were able to build, as I took one concept and added it to my coaching for the next day and then to that concept and added it. It just has created a space for me that's amazing and I love it and the positive energy for me around coaching, whether I am receiving coaching or whether I'm coaching someone else. The coaching session that I just got finished with coaching somebody else was just so amazing to see this woman just go to a place of figuring out that "oh my gosh, this thought that I've been having is totally optional. It's not true," was really kind of exciting to me and I loved it. So I just want you all to know that if you haven't tried coaching, try it. Try it, okay? 

03:35 

So today we're gonna be talking about the concept of your reason matters a lot. What is the reason behind the decisions that we make this is so important, okay? It probably matters more than most of us are even aware of that it matters. And we generally are not even aware of the reasons we make a lot of the decisions that we make. But when we can start connecting to that and going, "huh, so this is the decision I made, why did I make that decision?" When we slow down our lives enough to start looking at this, we are blown away by what we see. I know that I am. I'm just like, "whoa, what was that? Like that's the reason I made that decision," and sometimes I love it and sometimes they don't. We're going to talk about that. 

04:26 

So every one of us, first of all, engages in lots of activities and we make a lot of decisions in the course of a day or a week about those activities. And I know that I can often get so busy that by the end of the week I feel like I haven't had a moment to myself and the whole thing feels like a blur. Now being it is summer, and I don't have school every day and my kids are all adults, I feel that a lot less this summer than I have in the past, because I'm no longer running around all the time taking care of their needs, getting them to practices and performances and programs. But let's take a look at that, because I think a lot of us can really connect with that idea of just being so busy with all of this, right? 

05:13 

So let us ask ourselves this: why did we run ourselves ragged with getting our children to all these places? Our reasons for doing this will explain either why we felt engaged and energized or whether we felt frustrated and fatigued. Because our reasons for doing things has a direct correlation with the energy that we either create or expend. Think about that for a minute. The reason we do things is directly correlated with our engagement and with energy. Okay, so let's use an example from my life from about six weeks ago. I'm going to look at my daughter's high school graduation. Okay, because of the pandemic they didn't have a physical location graduation. What they did do was a virtual graduation in the morning that took a little over two hours and then in afternoon they had a parade where the students all decorated their cars and we drive down the road with everybody honking and screaming and cheering. It actually was quite a fun, engaging thing and the kids loved it. I was like a little bit teary-eyed driving down the road because all these people who just showed up on the side of the road and were cheering and screaming, and some of them throwing candy. I mean, it was just really sweet and endearing and I just loved seeing this good side of people. I think people are amazing. 

06:38 

But I took both I took part in both the activities, like both a parade and watching the graduation with my daughter. I even helped get the car decorated. I'll tell you a little bit more about that, but because all these things ended up taking up the bulk of the day, it was my last daughter that graduated, I was at school all day long, had a few hours, then we went to the gradation, took like three hours with travel time and that was it, right. So this one taking all day long, not always my favorite thing to do, right? But we get ready the day before, we start going out and getting stuff. No window paint anywhere. Not even white shoe polish stuff, you know how we used to do that back in the day? None of that either. So last minute that morning I ended up going to my school to cut letters out from the the really old school letter things so that we could paste those on the windows because my daughter wanted something. 

07:48 

I went to exercise, I got home, got ready, went over to the school, got the stuff, and came home barely in time to watch the ceremony with my daughter. So then we sat there for two hours. The virtual ceremony consisted of several speakers, as they usually do. The student talks, fabulous. They're always great. They're short, they are to the point. They're heartfelt. The district people who want to be heard, can I just say not so much? But we all go anyway and we listen and try and be respectful. Even though we're at home, I was trying to get engaged. So my daughter goes to the second largest high school in Utah. There were about 3,000 students to sit through. It was long, but we sat through the bulk of it even after her name was called, just because it's important to her, right? 

08:38 

So then came decorating the car, which that kind of stuff, not my favorite stuff to do. Some people love, love that. Me, I'm kind like, "meh, just you know, whatever." But then we finished the car and then my daughter headed over to the school. She loves that kind stuff, decorating the car, by the way. So you know I have reasons for engaging in that and that's what we're looking at today, right? What were my reasons for wanting to help her decorate the car? What are my reason for want to sit through that two hour ceremony. But then after we decorated the car, my daughter headed over to the school early to get in line for the parade. And remember, 3,000 students, so you've got potentially 3,000 cars. Now some people chose not to do it and some people carpooled, but we're looking at probably, I'm guessing about 2,000 cars, right? So I walked over because I live close enough to the high school, I walked a little bit later so I could drive the car while she sat on the roof with her feet hanging through the sunroof, right, while I drove the parade route for her. So a long day for me. I started going to punch out letters about eight or eight thirty in the morning. All of this stuff the parade wasn't done until about 4:30 or 5, I'm guessing, if I remember somewhat correctly. So I am fudging the numbers probably a little bit, but it took pretty much all day. 

10:10 

Okay, so the question to ask at this point is what is the reason that I did all of these things? Because my reason for doing it is going to determine whether I felt engaged and connected with her and whether it ended up being a great experience for the two of us or whether I felt annoyed and got short-tempered with her because I was doing things that I didn't want to do and it ended up not being such a stellar experience. So there are myriads of reasons why we could choose to engage in any activity but here are some that come to mind for this circumstance. I could think "this is what good moms do," or "I want her to remember that I was supporting her." "She'll get mad if I'm not doing all the things." "I'll feel guilty if I don't do this for  her." "This is an important day for her. I wanted to support her," or maybe "I love her and want to show that through my actions." So these could all be thoughts that we could put into our thought line, right? 

11:18 

So the circumstance is my daughter's graduation and then I have a thought about it. Maybe my thought is "I'll do all the things because that's what good moms do." So my reason behind that thought could be that I feel guilty if I don't do it because of my expectations of what a mom should do, which those expectations are most generally decided on by comparing what I'm doing with other moms out there, so am I gonna feel guilty because other moms are doing it and I'm not. This then would very possibly create feelings of resentment or irritation as the day went on and on. Especially when I end up near the end, sitting in a super hot parking lot for an hour and a half waiting for our turn just to get into the parade queue. And this resentment could be irritating and it would be energy draining. However, if my reason behind doing all of these things is because I love her and I really want to support her, and want her to know that, then when I end up in that same parking lot for the same reasons and for that amount of time, my feelings will tend to be much more positive. 

12:37 

In the first example, I'll find my resentment or irritation leading me to actions where I might get short-tempered, or I start complaining or nitpicking things. In this second example my feelings of love or admiration will lead me in more patient and calm ways, even when it's hot in the car while we're waiting, right? So whichever I choose is going to have a different outcome. The first one has the potential to break down the relationship with my daughter and the second has a potential to strengthen my relationship with her. 

13:12 

So looking at our reasons for doing things is so important because it is so insightful. Not only insightful as to the end result we create, like did I create a stronger relationship or did I break down my relationship, but it also helps us to understand ourselves more clearly. And this is one of the most important things we do. So we look at the reasons for doing things and then we decide if we like our reason. We can always do the same things but change our reasons and the whole experience changes and we get a completely different outcome. So let me tell you that my reason for engaging in those activities with my daughters were ones that I liked, reasons I could get behind and that I felt good about. And the day ended up being a wonderful experience with her. Are all of those things my favorite things to do? Absolutely not. But my reasons for doing them was good. So the outcome ended being good, the end result was good.  

14:21 

So let me share another experience with you in which my reasons weren't so good so that you can see the difference between what happens here. So I've touched on this within the last 15 podcasts or so, but I'm going to share it again because it fits so well here. So during the 24 years I was married, there was a lot of struggle for both of us. And I have always been a person for whom things have come fairly easily and i get along well with most people, so to be in a situation that was pretty difficult for me day in day out and where I didn't get along well with my ex-spouse, that was really hard on me mentally. It went so against everything I believed about myself, right? That I can be successful at things and that I got along with people. And I struggled so much with trying to understand what was going on. I was feeling completely lost at what to do with, to fix it. Then I personalized those things and made them mean that there must be something wrong with me. Okay, I know that I'm speaking to a lot of you who can can relate with this, right? And at a very internal level I was questioning my worth as a person because I couldn't get along well with a spouse and I couldn't create a happy marriage. 

15:42 

So I have never been a person who has bought into the idea that I was worthless, alright? So and I know that many women really struggle with that concept of feeling their worth. I've never really been one of those. I have always felt that worth, so when I was going through these difficult years of my marriage and and it was causing me to really question my worth and start thinking that there was something wrong with me because I couldn't make this work, it started to create a huge disconnect inside of me. I didn't know how all of this fit together, but I did know that I was failing as a wife and that made me start to feel like a failure as person. Which the stubborn part of me was not going to be put up with me feeling like a failure is a person, so I did what came naturally to me, which was to fight back. And I decided to start creating my own worth and turned my efforts on my home and on my children. 

16:45 

So I started being much more stringent about keeping a fairly clean home. And I start to get pretty darn good at cooking. And we always had homemade, yummy, amazing meals most nights of the week. We didn't eat frozen stuff. I mean, we were doing homemade pizza and homemade everything, right? Because I love it. But I always tried to keep my kids clean, clean clothes, wash your face, keep the boogies off your nose, right? And I worked up all sorts of job charts and discipline schedules. I read a lot of parenting books and I implemented everything that I could. I've read about home organization and i implemented things there. And to make it even better for me, but worse for my sweet kids, I wouldn't allow negative emotions in my home. I wasn't consciously doing this, but looking back I was totally doing this. I equated negative emotion with the fact that I was doing something wrong as a mother, that there was something wrong with me. And gosh darn it, I was a good mother and good mothers didn't have unhappy kids. So I was seeking to prove my worth to myself by being this crazy mom and housekeeper and running my keeping my house running. 

18:08 

So here I was doing all the things and thinking that I was all that and a bag of chips for doing all the things the best mother should be doing, I really thought that I was shoring up my self-worth in doing all of these things. Having my kids in piano, having them in sports, clean house, always at church, kids always look nice and clean for church. And we were reading scriptures and we were saying prayers and were doing family home evenings, okay? So, but here's the problem. First of all, nothing I can do or not do can affect my self-worth. It is indisputable and non-negotiable. Whether I believe it or not, my worth is there. And second of all, my reason, which was to prove my self-worth to myself and probably to others, is a terrible reason to do something. I ended up being totally disconnected emotionally with myself and my children and guess what? I gifted my children with emotional issues that they are now having to work through because I never allowed them to feel negative emotion. 

19:24 

So now the question that is, can I still do all the things that I was doing and not have it be a total mess, not come from this place of craziness that I'm coming from? Definitely. You can do the all things, but my reason for doing all the things has to be a good reason. If I want a clean house because I see it as a piece of self-care, something that makes me feel better, then keeping my house clean is terrific. In fact, it will even create energy for me. But keeping a clean house because i'm trying to prove my self-worth is a terrible reason and and it's going to be energy depleting and exhausting for me. 

20:10 

Can I have my kids involved in tons of activities and run them around like a crazy person and have it be a good thing? Of course, for sure. But I HAVE to love my reason. If my reason is because I want people to think I'm a great mom or because everyone else has their kids doing the same things and we have to keep up with everyone else? That is not going to be energy producing. Definitely not as much as if my reason is because I love seeing my children experiment and grow and do things they love. The first few reasons there will create emotions that will drain my energy, while the last one will create energy. 

20:54 

So looking back at my life and the reasons I did so many of the things, I now see that it was to shore up my self-worth, to make other people think that I had it all together when I knew I obviously didn't, and to try to beat their dad in the favorite parenting game that I have going on in my head. Okay, now those are horrible reasons that don't feel good at all, all three of those horrible reasons. They didn't feel good then and they don't feel great now. When I look back at why I was so exhausted all of the time, it's because I was living from reasons that were exhausting. To keep up that facade all the the time, to live from a place that didn't feel true to my values and my desires for my life, was a recipe for draining my energy. Because not only am I doing all the things, which is exhausting, but I was also white-knuckling it all of the time because my reasons were horrible, which adds exhaustion to my exhaustion. 

22:01 

But now through this coaching work that I do with myself and with my clients, I'm learning to look at my reason for doing things and deciding that if I am to live from a place of integrity, that i have to like my reasons. And this is one of the biggest places we need to go if we're to live in a way that creates emotional and mental energy rather than depleting it. So let's look at some regular day-to-day situations and I want you to ask yourself what your reason is for doing it, for the decision that you make, and then decide if you like the reason. So you need to asked yourself "does this reason resonate with my sense of integrity and with my soul? Does it feel good to my soul? Does it align with the values that I have for myself?" 

22:51 

Okay, so here's the first example: a promotion job comes available in your company and you are a really good fit for it. Do you apply? Why don't you ask yourself what is your reason for applying or not applying? Okay, now we want to look at that reason. Maybe your decision is not to apply because you really love the department that you're currently in and you feel like you are adding so much value there and you love people you work with and just want to stay. That might be a reason that you really like. But let's say your decision is not to apply because you're scared of the challenge and you're afraid to move out of your comfort zone and question your abilities and worth in this particular space. Again, you just have to ask yourself, "Do I like the reason for my decision? If my reason is fear, do I like that?" The first example I gave you, the reason was love. I love where I'm at. I love the people I work with. I Iove the value I am adding. The second was fear. Scared of the challenge. Afraid to move out of my comfort zone. Afraid that my abilities and my worth are going to be questioned, right? And this decision of not applying for the job out of fear has a lot more questions behind it than the first decision. And it is so important to start exploring the reasons behind that decision! Why am I afraid? What about moving out my comfort zone scares me? Why I am scared of the challenge? Good questions to ask. Figure out the reason behind and then decide "do I like that reason?" Okay, and everybody's gonna find something different here, but this is where we have to learn to be true to ourselves. Do I like my reasons? 

24:54 

Okay, here's another example. Your son and your daughter-in-law ask you to take care of their three children for the weekend. What do you say, yes or no? Now ask yourself what is your reason for your yes or no. Okay, next question. Do you like that reason? Okay I'm gonna give you a hint. If it's because you would feel guilty saying "no," I am going to suggest you could find a better reason or make a different decision. This isn't to say you have to say "yes" or "no." There isn't a right or wrong decision here. You just have to be aware of your reason and you have to like that reason. Okay? As long as you like it, it doesn't matter if anybody else likes it. Doesn't matter, right? You just to have be committed to your own reason, and like it for you. 

25:57 

Let me give you another example. Your husband wants to take a week-long trip to visit his parents whom you haven't always seen eye to eye with. Do you say, "yes I'll go" or "no, I'm going to stay home"? What is your reason? And again, ask this follow-up, do you like that reason? Again there's absolutely no right or wrong decision here. It's just a decision, but being true to yourself with your reason is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself. 

26:39 

Okay, let me give you one more example. As the wife and mother, you make sure that all of the food in your home is taken care of by you. The planning, the shopping, and the preparing. So take a minute to look at your reason for this. Why do you do all of that? Is it because you really enjoy the processes involved? Or maybe because you would feel guilty if you didn't, or maybe because no one else would do it, or because it's your God-given responsibility as the woman in the home. Check your reasons on this. I can promise you that the reason you identify for why you do or don't do that is impacting your whole life with either creating or depleting energy. That you are either living in a calm satisfaction around this issue or you're living in resentment, frustration, and anger about it. Again, no right or wrong with this. If you love the process of planning and shopping and preparing and love the time investment and loved what it gives your family, you go, girl. Right? And if you hate it and you're doing it because you just feel guilty and feel like it's your responsibility, check that reason. Because that reason is eating you alive. Check your reason, again, no right or wrong. Just be clear on your reason and be true to your reason. 

28:17 

When we can learn to be true to ourselves, to align our decisions with our values, then we can really start to trust ourselves. The more we trust ourself, the easier it becomes to make decisions with reasons that we like. But as with so much in life, it is a process to get to this point. We have to really get clear and honest with ourselves on being aware of our reasons and this alone creates greater trust and honesty and openness and clarity with ourselves, right? 

28:55 

So here's how it usually starts. You'll find yourself in a situation that you're not happy with and you are finding that your feeling resentment or angry or maybe some frustration. So this is a perfect time to stop and ask "why." What decision did you make that put you in this situation? And then ask, once you decide what decision it was, what was your reason for the decision. Okay these aren't always huge life-changing things but just the awareness of why we what our reasons are is huge insight into ourselves. 

29:36 

Okay let's look at one more example. So we're gonna go back to this one we talked about before. So let say you agreed to watch the grandkids for a four day weekend. You love your grandkids and you love their parents so much but by Friday night you are already anxious and frustrated and getting short-tempered. You're starting to think unkind thoughts about your son and his wife and getting really irritated with your grandkids even though, come on, you love them desperately. So here's a time to step back and look at your decision to say that yes, you would watch the kids for that weekend. What was your reason for saying yes? Okay, here are some reasons I'm going to give you that may be energy depleting. "Well, the parents just really deserve a weekend away. I really want to be a good grandma and this is what good grandmas do. Everyone will think I am such a great mother-in-law. I would hate for them to have to go to their other grandma's house. I'll definitely be the favorite grandma if I say yes because we're gonna do so much fun stuff. I know it's hard for him to ask so I feel really guilty saying no. Honestly, nobody else could do it as well as I can." Okay, if one of these reasons resonated with what your reasons would be, I want you to ask yourself if you like that reason. 

31:05 

Now your temptation here is going to be to make up a bunch of crap. I'm going tell you, don't give into that temptation. Learn to painfully honest with yourself when it comes to identifying your reason, okay? If you are painfully honest with yourself, then you can start to see what's going on. And then, you have to ask, does that reason have you acting from a place of integrity? A place that aligns with your values? Can we say "yes" to the request to keep our grandkids for the weekend and love our reasons? Absolutely. Maybe you just really adore your grandchildren and you want to spend all of your free time with them. That's a great reason. And with that reason, you won't find yourself feeling so anxious and frustrated or short-tempered either. Not to say that they won t test your patience over the course of those four days. But those situations won't be added upon by an underlying resentment or anger. We're not going to be adding negative on negative, right? Humanity means that they're hard for you at some point. That's the nature of having little kids around, right? That it's going to be challenging. But if you're adding on to that challenge with underlying resentment or anger for the fact that you are even in that situation, it gets even worse, Right? 

32:37 

So we have to be very clear about our reasons, and we HAVE to connect with doing it for a reason that we feel is part of our integrity, part of a value system, okay? It's like me in my clean house. I want it clean...just so you know I'm not a psycho clean person. Like you will find dust in my house any day of the week, right? But I don't really like the clutter. You could come to my house pretty much any day and it would usually be fairly clean. But don't take your shoes off because it's never clean enough that your white socks will be white when you leave. But I do like mostly clean, right? So I want it clean, not because it proves anything to anybody, not that it improves my self-worth, and not that if it makes my children or myself think that I'm better. I just like it cleaned because It feels so much better to me. It's a piece of self-care that i give myself. So my reason is because I like how it feels. I like what it creates for me. It does create energy for me to have a cleaner house. And I like that reason. Right? 

33:53 

Different people are different. Some people, doesn't matter to them at all. Guess what? My dear sweet mother didn't care at ALL if her house was a mess. And she liked her reasons. I remember her reason, her telling me wants that she just had better things to do with her time than keep a clean house. And she loved her reason for that. It totally aligned with her values. it totally lined with her integrity. Was it a different decision than I make? For sure. But both of our reasons for that decision aligned with our integrity, aligned with our values. So even though we made different decisions for different reasons, we were both in a better place, a place of energy creation with that. 

34:45 

Okay, so this is your assignment this week. I want you to look at the decisions that you make and then look at your reasons for making them. Now we make hundreds of decisions a day, so to do this on every single decision would be really difficult. But, you know, in the course of the day after you make a decision, I want you to say, "huh, why did I make that decision?" And I don't want you just to look at the really big huge ones. Okay? So I just look at all your decisions and start looking at, "what are my reasons? Why did I made that decision?" 

35:16 

Okay, so I want right now though, start with this exercise, take the last five decisions that you can remember making today. And then I wanted you write them down really quickly so you don't have a chance to change your mind or think of something better. Then I want you to ask yourself what your reason was behind all of those decisions. So I'm gonna do this right now, actually. I kind of wrote this down a little bit before, but I did it the same way that I told you do it. Okay so the first decision, I am going chronologically from right now back in my morning. So first I sat down, I finished my prep for this podcast. My reason is that i decided yesterday that if it's on my schedule today I'm doing it without fighting myself and I kept my word to myself. Do I like that reason? Yeah, I do. I liked that I built some trust with myself there. Second decision, I didn't eat yet this morning. Okay, my reason for that is it's about 12 o'clock. I' m working on intermittent fasting and I''m trying to be healthier with what I am eating and how I'm eating in my schedule. So do i like that reason? Yes, I like it. Okay? 

36:27 

Number three. I had an urge to go get a snack in the middle of my preparation and I didn't go do it, okay? The reason, actually for the two reasons above, right? I decided to keep my word and keeping my word on my intermittent fasting, and two I'm trying to keep me intermittent and fasting going. So do I like my reason for not going to get the snack? Yes, I do. I like it. That builds trust with me. Decision number four, I got on Facebook for about 15 minutes before I started this prep. Reason, I was avoiding getting to work on doing this. I don't like that reason, right? When I say I wanna work, I wanna get ro work. So there was a bit of a bump there in my trust for myself, right, because I was avoiding. But I'm not going to beat myself up over it, I am just recognizing it. And just going, oh, this was my reason that I was spending time on Facebook, when it wasn't on my schedule. Okay. Number five, I interrupted my prep to respond to my daughter's text message about something at work. So, reason. This is kind of a two-parter. The reason I checked it when the notification came up, because I was wanting to avoid doing the work, I was like "oh, give me a break." Sometimes the thinking of preparing a podcast is just a lot for me, but I checked it because i was trying to avoid. But i responded to the text because i knew that she needed the information right away and i wanted to help her. So I don't like the reason that i checked the notification but I do like the reason that I responded to our text message. 

38:10 

Okay, so that's just a really simple thing but it gave me some insight into myself and the insight it give me was there's some avoiding, right? Like I'm trying to avoid sometimes the discomfort of doing this business work stuff that I love, and even though I love it, it's work and it requires that i put forth a lot of effort. So sometimes I see myself wanting to avoid that and I saw that this morning just in those few decisions. Okay, so some of the reasons I really like and some I don't like so much, but the awareness is huge as far as helping me understand myself and learning to be true to myself, learning to trust myself. It's helping me to create a trusting relationship with me and overall I did that this morning. And that feels really good to know that I'm doing what I said I do. Okay, and I'm being extra strict with myself this morning because I've been extra lenient the past few days with the things that I wanted to accomplish. So hmm, do I like that reason? I guess it depends on whether I am doing it from a beating myself up place or an "I have got this" place, right? Am I being extra strict because i'm beating myself up and punishing myself? Or am I being extra strict because I just want to say, you know what? I'm strong enough. I can do this. The same decision can be made with totally different reasons, so be aware of that, okay? 

39:43 

This, my friends, is a huge piece of growing up and growing up bites in a good way, right? This is so terrific. This is such good stuff. I hope you're loving it as much as I am because I just feel like this is such important stuff. Look at your reasons, understand your reason, decide if you like those reasons and be brutally honest with yourself. Will you please? Brutal honesty is what it takes to really get into our minds and to see who we are and what we're doing and why we doing it. And this a piece of growing up at this middle-age stage in our life that is brilliant and amazing. 

40:27 

Okay, so we talked about coaching at the beginning. Let's talk about this podcast for just a second. If you love it, if it's helping you, please share it. Please help me get this out, right? And also if you haven't subscribed to it, subscribe and please leave me a review. If you haven't left me review, I would love if you would go to iTunes and leave a review. What that does is it helps to bump this up. So if people put in "life coaching," the more reviews I have and the better they are the more it bumps it up so that more people find it on accident. Right? So I would love to have you do that. Okay, my friends, I went longer than I usually do but I hope this was helpful. Check your reasons this week. Look at your reasons and like your reason. But don't beat yourself up when you make decisions that you don't like your reasons. Just be aware, pay attention, see what's going on. Fabulous, amazing, insightful place to be. Okay, have a terrific week and I will talk to you next week. Bye! 

41:28 

Thank you so much for joining me today. If you would love to receive some weekend motivation, be sure to sign up for my  free "weekend win" Friday email: a short and quick message to help you have a better weekend and position yourself for a more productive week. Go to tanyahale.com to Sign up and learn more about life coaching and how it can help to get to your best self ever. See ya!